A New Lens on Being in Love Part II: Clearer Vision

It’s been roughly five months since I first penned a very honest reflection about my breakup with my boyfriend in the post A New Lens on Being in Love. I revealed that we ended our three year relationship earlier this year to give us the chance and space to grow in the ways that we want to and need to as individuals. Why?

Because ultimately, the more solid you are as a person, the better you can be as a partner (or friend, sibling, parent, etc).

However, my primary focus in the post was what I hoped that “growth” would mean for me. Truthfully, I needed to turn my love inward. I needed to genuinely grow in self-confidence, self-love, and self-care. I desperately wanted to become my own champion, cheerleader, and my own best friend and to be happy about having that role. I wanted (and needed) to sincerely fall in love with myself.

One of my favorite quotes as of late is “give time some time.” It’s quite simple, but it’s also quite powerful when you really think about it. Time has a beautiful way of changing things. What a situation looks or feels like in the present moment doesn’t dictate how it will be in the future. I’ve always found that to be reassuring and true – especially at times like this.

In these recent months I have found a new sense of pride, a deeper well of confidence, and a solid source of reliance from myself. I’ve become my own best friend, an unwavering believer in my goals and strengths, and a true admirer of who I am as a person. I feel whole completely on my own and I have reached a new level of happiness that stems directly from within. It’s a powerful feeling and one that I’m so grateful to be experiencing. In a way, it’s like an awakening. I often liken it to a caterpillar approaching the stage of a being a butterfly with wings. Naturally, the journey is continuous and my evolvement as a better, stronger version of myself still carries on, but I’m genuinely excited about the person I’m becoming.

In regards to the status of my relationship, we’re still giving each other the time and space needed that prompted our breakup. Do I miss him? Sometimes. Do I still love him? Absolutely. A part of me always will. But I know this is what’s best for us, now and in the long-run. Honestly, there isn’t a day that’s gone by where I have regretted our breakup. I was holding on so tightly, afraid of the unknown.

But I’ve realized that letting go of my relationship allowed me to pour more of that love, time, and energy into a person that really craved it: me. I also know that he deserves to give that same kind attention to himself. He deserves to focus on the things are important to him and in ways that will allow him to continue becoming the most amazing man he can be. I genuinely want that for him and I know he feels the same towards me. We sincerely want the other to be happy – whatever that may entail – and that’s something I appreciate about our situation.

I honestly don’t know what will happen with us in the future, and that’s okay. We don’t have to have it all figured it out right now. How the rest of our story unfolds remains to be seen, but I trust that “giving time some time” will work everything out exactly as it’s meant to be.

Kiara Hall is a proud millennial and a firm believer in the power of storytelling to share knowledge, inspire ideas, and foster change. Passionate about the discussion of social, economic, and political issues on a national and global scale—especially those relating to women and girls—she’s a blossoming writer that aspires to create meaningful content to contribute to that space.

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