How do You Know if You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship?

When you’re in a healthy relationship with  someone you love, you probably feel that you’re the happiest person in the world and that you have the power to do everything. However, being in an unhealthy relationship is a totally different thing. It can feel different every day, and it’s often hard to know if the relationship is unhealthy when you’re inside it.  If you are in a relationship that feels like it could be unhealthy, than this list is a great place for you to start. Here are some of the significant indications that your current relationship is not good for you:

Your partner is abusing you

Abuse can be done through many forms, not just physically but also mentally and verbally. If you’re experiencing any type of abuse from your partner, this is one tell tale sign that you’re in an unhealthy relationship. If you think you might be in an abusive relationship, you can always contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

You’re the only one exerting effort

A relationship requires time and effort from two people, or else, it will fall apart. If you’re the only one doing the work, you might feel lonely and sad, and it also means that your current relationship is not a good one.

Your relationship doesn’t allow you to pursue your passion

Relationships take compromise, but your commitment to your partner should not prohibit you from doing things that make you feel happy and content. In a healthy relationship,you and your partner should be supporting one another to reach your dreams and be your best selves. If that’s not happening, you might need to reevaluate.

You developed bad habits because of your relationship

Did you learn how to tell lies to your parents or to be a heavy drinker after having a relationship? Being in an unhealthy relationship can change you badly. It can be because of your partner’s influence or other factors. If you notice yourself making negative changes because of your relationship, that is a sign it is probably unhealthy.

Photo by Zackary Drucker as part of Broadly’s Gender Spectrum Collection. Credit: The Gender Spectrum Collection. Made available to media outlets via Creative Commons. No derivatives, no commercial use. See guidelines here: broadlygenderphotos.vice.com/guidelines

There’s lack of respect

If your partner is not asking for your opinion whenever he wants to make changes to your relationship, you’re mostly in an unhealthy relationship. If he respects you, he will value your opinion because he knows that both of you are different, and he’s fine with it. It’s important that no matter how different your perspectives are, both of you will value each other’s beliefs.   

There are many ways to show respect within a relationship, and the list goes on. 

You can’t be your true self

If you don’t feel comfortable being your true self around your partner, than your relationship probably is not sustainable. Always remember that the key to finding your ideal partner and making a relationship strong is staying true to yourself.  

Your partner is forcing you to change

You’re not required to change just because your partner told you to do so. Love should be unconditional. If your partner says they’ll only love you if you change, then that might not be the person for you.  

You don’t trust your partner

Do you find it find it hard to trust your partner? Are you always worried about where they are or who they’re with? This can be a sign that you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Trust is the foundation of every relationship. Both parties should work hard to not lose their partner’s trust. 

You’re not communicating regularly

Communication is essential to every relationship. It’s natural that you and your partner get busy from time to time, but there should still be interaction and meaningful conversations between the two of you. Lack of communication can lead to misunderstanding and shake up your relationship. This is why it’s important to allot some time to be with each other and tell what you’ve been up to.  

Your partner doesn’t make you feel good about yourself

You need a partner that empowers you and boost your confidence, but if he consistently tells you that you don’t look great or compares you with other women, you’re indeed in an unhealthy relationship. Be with someone who makes you feel as amazing as you know you are!

If you realized that you’re in an unhealthy relationship, you should be honest with your partner about these things. Counseling and conversations can be great tools. Sometimes, leaving is not always the only solution as there are many ways to save your relationship. However, other times the best thing for both of you is to move on. It’s not worth staying in an unhealthy relationship just to stay. It’s important to do what’s best for your own emotional health.


Irene Pagsolingan is a communication arts major from the Philippines. She has experience in Journalism, Copywriting, Blogging, Graphic Designing, and other fields. The idea of influencing other people with her writing makes Irene excited and dedicated to improving her skills. During her downtime, she’s fond of learning and exploring new things on the web. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *