Career Diaries Part 1: Hitting Rock Bottom

It was a sunny late spring afternoon at the park. The birds were singing and children were gleefully darting across the baseball diamond.

I, on the other hand, was racing across the grass, my designer heels sinking into the soil with every step, my overflowing purse hanging from one arm, my son’s baseball bag hanging on the other, a work binder in one arm and a school binder in the other.

I was late to my kid’s baseball practice, again, and he noticed. “Why are we always late?” he asked innocently. Exasperated, I replied “just go over there with your team.”

I plopped myself down on the grass, away from the other parents so they couldn’t see the tears now rolling down my face.

I was such a horrible mother for being late, for prioritizing those last few work emails instead of getting my son to practice on time.

I was a horrible employee because I knew my boss wanted me to stay late.

I was such a horrible student for rushing through my homework during the few spare moments I had during the day.

I was failing. I was drowning. And my beautiful expensive heels were all muddy!

Looking back, that day I hit rock bottom. My stress was through the roof, I was depressed, I was neglecting my health, and, worst of all, I felt so angry that I had to choose between my career and the rest of my life. I was basically a hot mess.

It took some time, but since then my career/life has improved considerably because I have learned a lot about balance, letting go, starting over, and staying present.

I will be sharing what I’ve learned in a series of upcoming blogs, so stay tuned!

In the interim, have you had similar “rock bottom” career/life moments? Feel free to share in the comment section below.

This blog is part of a series. Next, read Career Diaries Part 2 and Part 3.

Marcella Gonsalves is wife, mom, program planner, writer, teacher, coach and people developer.  When she is not helping people or organizations achieve their goals, she loves to drink a good espresso, talk about nutrition, or even take a kickboxing class or two. She has a diverse educational background with a bachelor of arts in journalism, master of public health and is nearly finished with a doctorate in educational leadership and management. Check out her LinkedIn profile for more details.

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