“Can anyone tell me what they think of Kantian ethics?” the TA asks. The room is dead silent, with raised hands, each seeking their opportunity of glory from their answer. As I look around the philosophy discussion room, the majority is filled with guys, sure smiles on their faces gleaming with pride.
I hope for a girl somewhere in the room to raise their hand, but not a single one. Each girl looks down at her laptop, avoiding the eyes of the TA. In fear of embarrassment, I don’t put my hand up. A few minutes later, a girl raises her hand, but when stating her thoughts on the question, some of the boys in the room begin to snicker at her, causing her to shrink in her seat.
This is one example of the sad reality that girls and women everywhere face today. I regret not raising my hand, as it could have prompted another girl to feel more comfortable raising her own. But even if I had, would I have been mocked, too?
In courses such as philosophy and history, I have noticed the staggering amount of girls who do not share their insight in fear that the guys in the room will snicker and laugh at what they have to say. This situation is similar to the bystander effect, defined as “the reduction in helping behavior in the presence of other people”. Although there is no danger present in this situation as is usually seen with the bystander effect, each girl expects another to be the first to jump in and share their ideas for the rest to chime in, acting as a bystander.
As a female pre-law student, I have noticed that classes in the humanities branch, as well as engineering classes, tend to be male-dominated. This seems to be because males find it easier to voice their opinions and more confident in their abilities. How can female college students overcome this fear and feel confident enough to share their thoughts, even in male-dominated fields?
Confidence is Key!
The first step I personally took is building confidence within myself! I realized that I needed to communicate with more strength, and not falter even if others may deem my opinion to be “funny,” just as the boys in the class did. By shifting my focus on myself and getting my point across, I was more easily able to communicate in class without feeling hesitant in my abilities or thoughts. I know! It’s cliche to say “Don’t care what others think of you, what you think of yourself is most important,” but it really is true! When I speak up in large groups with predominantly males, I tell myself how much more confident other girls in the group will feel if I speak first. As women, we tend to put others before ourselves, and it surely helps me to think that I am benefiting other girls in the classroom by voicing my opinion, not just myself.
Your Opinions are Valid!
I often found myself not participating in discussions because I felt that what I believed was controversial and would shift the perspectives of my colleagues, especially since they were mostly males. However, as I began to share my ideas, I realized how vital it was to do so as it can broaden others’ perspectives and bring about growth to one’s group. Don’t be afraid to bring your ideas to the table! Represent your ideas and stay true to yourself and your values, as it can be easy to lose these when everyone around you seems to think differently. It is diversity within groups that is much of the beauty of group work, so embrace it. When you begin to realize the validity of your opinion while also being open to other perspectives, you will find it easier to be confident in sharing your thoughts aloud to others.
Kristen Marshal is a second-year Psychological Brain Sciences major and Philosophy minor at UC Santa Barbara. She is a first-gen pre-law student with a passion for empowering women. In her free time, you’ll find her reading classic novels with her dogs Fefe and Fluffy by her side.