Self-love can be a controversial topic in today’s world, with many people believing different ideas on what it is and how to do it. From my own experiences, I’ve come to understand how important self-love is, especially for women.
For generations, society has pushed the idea that women’s worth is measured by how much we sacrifice for others. We’re conditioned to put everyone else’s needs before our own, to be nurturers. But we must redefine what it means to be a woman—who loves herself unapologetically.
Now, let me be clear: self-love is not selfishness. It’s about showing ourselves the same compassion, kindness, and care we readily show others. If we did this, we would create a world full of happier, healthier women who set strong examples for the next generation—guiding girls to explore their full potential and the true beauty of being a woman.
Being the Best Version of Ourselves
I have met both fulfilled and miserable women throughout my life, and the key difference is self-love. The fulfilled ones prioritize loving themselves, while the miserable ones often don’t. Too often, we push our problems to the back burner and pour from an empty cup, until we’re worn down, exhausted, and passionless. To avoid this, we need to realize that self-love is not just important—it’s essential. We cannot be our best for others unless we’re first our best for ourselves. How can we love others fully if we do not first love ourselves?
Self-love starts with accepting who we are and committing to becoming the best version of ourselves. It means nurturing our whole being—mind, body, and spirit—and enjoying life. This may sound simple, but it requires us to set boundaries, say ‘no’ to what doesn’t serve us, and stay true to standards that protect our well-being. If anyone or anything challenges or threatens these standards, they should not have space in our lives.
Phases of Self-Love
- Self-Awareness: Knowing yourself is the first step. Understand your personality, values, beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and actions. This self-awareness is the foundation of true self-love.
- Self-Acceptance: Embrace who you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t beat yourself over things you cannot control—your body type, skin tone, height, or any other unchangeable trait. Accepting yourself is liberating and is the key to inner peace.
- Self-Development: Strive for growth. Work on the parts of yourself that you want to improve. Learn new skills, build on your strengths, and stay curious. Being up-to-date and continually improving keeps your passion for life alive.
- Self-Confidence: Be proud of who you are and your achievements. Trust your abilities and believe in yourself. Confidence radiates from within and fuels further success.
- Self-Care: Prioritize your mental, physical, and emotional health. Practice healthy habits that make you feel good. Protect your well-being by saying no to toxic influences.
Ways to Practice Self-Love
To explore how we can love ourselves, we can incorporate Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages” as a guide for daily practices:
- Quality Time: Dedicate time for yourself each day, even if it’s just an hour. Use this time to disconnect from the world and reconnect with yourself. Go for a walk, read, meditate, dance, journal, or do yoga. Explore your creativity. These activities increase self-awareness and nurture your soul. Pause, be present, and savor the moment.
- Words of Affirmation: Speak kindly to yourself. Start each day by looking in the mirror and affirming positive truths about yourself. Keep a journal of these affirmations or write them on sticky notes around your space. Replace critical inner dialogue with words of love and encouragement—“I am enough,” “I am capable,” and “I deserve happiness.” This practice boosts self-acceptance and confidence.
- Acts of Service: Give yourself a break and accept help from others. Outsource chores or tasks when possible, and use that time to focus on yourself. Allowing yourself to be cared for and supported is an act of love. Spend that extra time developing your skills, reading, or simply relaxing. Even technology, like AI, can simplify your life, giving you more breathing space.
- Receiving Gifts: Treat yourself regularly. After all the hard work, buy something special just for you, even if it’s small. Don’t wait for others to pamper you—take the initiative. Invest in items that make you feel confident and beautiful. Receiving gifts from yourself and others reminds you that you’re worth it.
- Physical Touch: This might sound unusual, but a simple self-hug can be powerful. Wrap your arms around yourself and say, “Thank you.” Go to a spa, get a massage, or indulge in a pampering manicure and pedicure session. Physical touch can foster relaxation and emotional release.
Self-love starts in the mind. Believe that you are worthy of love, kindness, compassion, and care. Listen to your body, eat nourishing food, rest when needed, and be gentle with yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how the world treats you. So, go ahead, and live life fully and boldly. You deserve all the love you give—and so much more. We are cheering you on every step of the way.
Glory Twobola is a versatile writer with a background in Content and Creative Writing, blending storytelling with psychology and sociology insights. Her work spans social issues, technology, and fiction, always driven by meticulous research and a distinctive voice. A recipient of national and international certifications, she is committed to excellence and continues to push the boundaries of her craft, always seeking new challenges and opportunities to connect with readers through the power of words.